Josh's Tumblelog

Not Overheard At A Restaurant

I don’t care what they say, this revenge is not very good cold. I’m sending it back.

Made-Up Facts About Dragonflies

1. Dragonflies can eat their own weight in cheese.
2. Dragonflies are the royal bug of Madagascar.
3. Dragonflies mate for life.
4. Dragonflies can grow to be as big as a car.
5. A swarm of dragonflies will fly in perfect formation, creating a three-dimensional representation of a hypercube.
6. Scientists believe that eating dragonfly soup may cure cancer.
7. Kurt Vonnegut created a religion about worshiping dragonflies.
8. Dragonflies have a biological compass that always lets them know which way left is.
9. A dragonfly is responsible for the death of John F. Kennedy.
10. According to Chaos Theory, every time a dragonfly flaps its wings, God kills a kitten.

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Occam’s Razor: Because sometimes the simplest shave is the best shave.

Why is the most used pencil in school called the number two?

25 Random Things About Me

1. I’m bad with numbers.

Expanding

For most board gamers, the trip to your local game store is an enjoyable experience. For me, it can be a paralyzing one. I stand in the store and look at all the games I have never heard of. A cold sweat runs down the back of my neck.

Should I try Tikal? What the heck is Pillars of the Earth? Ninja Burger looks like a fun theme, but themes can be so deceptive.

Eventually, I pick something and go home with it. I unwrap it, puzzle over the rules, try to teach it to my fiancée, and we eventually agree that it is a dud.

This is why, more and more often, when we go to out local game store, we end up by expansions to games we already own and trust. Expansions, for those of you who don’t know, are just additional components for games you already own. An extra deck of cards, a new map, some additional tiles, chits, or dice. They make the game’s you already know and love more complicated, usually ruining the experience. However, they usually seem like a better buy than a blind pick at your local game store.

I sometimes wonder what the first expansion was. Things have been marketed as expansions and supplements for years. Magic the Gathering had all kinds of expansion sets in the 1990’s. Dungeons and Dragons had a lot of supplemental books coming out in the ‘80’s. But there must have been older expansions before that. How about the expansion of chess by adding a clock? Or the expansion of checkers by adding “What the hell is that?” Or how about the expansion of sword fighting by adding codes of honor?

Most likely, the first expansion was the expansion of hunting by adding spears.

Expansions are rarely as good as the original game and usually just complicate matters. The best example of this is the expansion of relationships by adding marriage. However, this has not stopped me from buying expansions or proposing marriage in the past. If you love a game (or person or whatever), invest in it fully.

Now, should I buy the Unhappy Homes or the Unwelcome Guests expansion for Gloom?

2009 Predictions

I predict some group in Hollywood will strike. (Are craft service people unionized?) This will lead to Joss Whedon creating Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Podcast. It will be brilliant. Tell your friends. However, we will never see Dollhouse.

I predict more old movies coming out on blu-ray with crummy transfers that are only enjoyed by people who are half-blind from various and sundry diseases. However, the dropping prices of discs ($19.99 for new releases, please) and cheaper profile 2.0 players will lead to increased adoption of the format. Oh, and Apple will announce computers with blue lasers. This may or may not have something to do with blu-ray.

I predict some TV manufacturer will announce the biggest TV ever and then add that it will never be available for retail purchase. This is what happens when engineers listen to their inner Tim “The Toolman” Taylor.

I predict we will not see Windows 7 until 2010. The more often Microsoft tells you it is coming out in 2009, the more likely it will be 2010.

I predict the iTunes Store doesn’t go subscription-based. It is more likely that the Amazon Kindle 2.0 will be subscription-based.

I predict Sony will announce that they have no plans to drop the price of the PS3. It will then drop in price almost immediately.

Finally, I predict J.D. Salinger will come out of retirement and write the much-anticipated sequel to The Catcher in the Rye: The Children of the Corn. Everyone will get the joke but J.D.

Willie Nelson

Listening to Willie Nelson’s new album. He sounds younger than past albums. Maybe he switched to smoking wheatgrass.

Humidity

Humidity confuses me. The thermometer in the living room says it is 73% humidity right now. If it reaches 100%, then is it raining indoors? Am I underwater? Whatever the case, it feels like someone is holding a warm, wet towel over my face. Blech!